Life Ninja
In this crazy world I've met a lot of people. Lazy, stupid, smart, fat, skinny, rich, poor, and crackheads. Most people don't relate to my pain because they what society thinks they should do. I'm in a minority because of my stubbornness. It's hard for me to let go.
Type A:
This group has a bed pushed up against the wall. They fit the sheet at the wall corner first. They think things through. They don't get all excited looking at the freshly cleaned sheet and think "I'm going to start this job right away and fit the sheet to the corner away from the wall first. They start their job at the corner against the wall. The fitted sheet then can be easily finished at the end opposite of the wall. They represent the majority of people. They keep the country moving in the right direction. They make changing a fitted sheet look easy. They make life look simple.Type B:
This group doesn't own a bed. They might own a bed, but not a mattress. They might own a mattress, but not a fitted sheet. They might own a fitted sheet but never have to change it for themselves. This is a primitive group. Most of them are crackheads
Type C:
This group has a bed, but it isn't pushed up against a wall. They can afford to cheat. They have enough space in the bedroom to have the bed placed away from a wall. Most of them have a maid change the sheets for them. When the maid does change the sheets she doesn't have to worry about which corner to start at. She has a walking path around the entire mattress and can chose a starting point wherever she likes. She is paid to change their sheets and the irony is that when she goes home her job is much more difficult because she is type A or B outside of work.Type D:
This is my group. We're impulsive and stubborn. I only realize the sheets are in the dryer when I'm ready to go to sleep. I'll walk in the room and say "shit" then walk down to the dryer. I'll bring the sheets up and start making the bed. I always start at the lower corner nearest to myself when I threw the sheets on the floor. I do this because I'm upset at myself for not doing it earlier. So I fit that corner then I fit the other easy corner then I'm screwed. A sane person would just pull the sheet off and start over again. Not type D. So, I get on the bed and pull the sheet toward the corner against the wall. It never reaches. I then jump in the air and push the sheet toward the wall. I remember one time doing this and the other end came off so I stopped and refitted the first corner. I then repeated the jumping technique till the corner is secured.Type D doesn't abide by society's rules. We live life as we want. I don't think the term ("life ninja"™ schwabdawg inc) is too much of a stretch. We decide how and when we're going to get that corner next to the wall fixed to the bed. We don't follow a playbook for living our life. Sometimes you just have to break free of how others view your actions and do what you feel is right. Even if it makes you look like a dumbass almost knocking yourself out against a wall while jumping up and pushing a fitted sheet towards that last corner.
